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Many of my friends are on various sites and apps right now and are having great experiences, and clearly 41 million people have found it at least worth the try.

Let me be clear, I have absolutely nothing at against those who love online dating.

And when someone presses for why I’m not OK Cupid-ing or Tinder-ing or EHarmonizing my way through these single years, I have also learned to articulate a few reasons.

So I thought I’d share five of those today for any inquiring minds who might want to know why I’m not online dating — especially for any of you married folk who might wonder why some of your single friends (who might still want to be in a relationship) are intentionally passing up all of those available fish in the online sea.

(Ironically, in my organized little brain, the very thing that initially appealed to me about online dating.) I don’t know, something about it just felt super unnatural to me. When I was on EHarmony (and they may have changed the process since), you were sent a few matches a day and then had to decide yes or no on all of them. When I was on Match, my little inbox was pretty quickly overwhelmed with emails (and those awful “winks”), ranging from the cut-and-pasted form emails (yes), the creepy one-liners (90% of the time having to do with eyes, or completely sexual), to legit emails from guys who were and were absolutely not what I would call matches.

So if you’re active on an online dating site, you generally find yourself having to sort through yes’s and no’s every single day. And yes of course, it’s awesome and a total honor to have people interested in you.

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